A culinary miracle living inside a small cupboard in Roath
BEHOLD! Day 15 and 'The Amazing Bread That Won't Go Stale' doggedly remains unstale. David Blaine may be able to grow gills and stubble but 'The Amazing Bread That Won't Go Stale' eclipses his profound sorcery through sitting in a cupboard for a fortnight and obstinately declining the urge to become penicillin. If 'Amazing Bread That Won't Go Stale' were to become a a medicine it would laugh in the face of the mild pain relief supplied by its brethren and turn into chemotherapy.
"What is your secret of longevity?" I asked 'Amazing Bread That Won't Go Stale.
"It's a secret" it cunningly replied. No flies on 'Amazing Bread That Won't Go Stale.'
Yesterday (Day 14) some scientists from the MOD visited. Word had spread of the sheer power of 'Amazing Bread That Won't Go Stale' and they wanted to harness that power to kill Arabs. 'Amazing Bread That Won't Go Stale' refused to help as it is mostly philanthropic (except for wasps). The scientists did reveal that 'Amazing Bread That Won't Go Stale' is made of plutonic yeast - impervious to Cannisten or cunning.
Toady (Day 15) 'Amazing Bread That Won't Go Stale' did something even more amazing revealing on its eastern ridge the face of the Virgin Mary crying (if you look carefully you too can see her saintly weeping). News reached the Vatican and by lunchtime 'Amazing Bread That Won't Go Stale' and I had received a visit from some Nuns on a yeast based pilgrimage. I gave them some tea but said they couldn't take 'Amazing Bread That Won't Go Stale' back to see the Pope as he is my friend.
This afternoon (still Day 15) Dan Brown telephoned and wondered whether 'Amazing Bread That Won't Go Stale' would like to feature in his latest film as a direct descendent of Christ (from the Bible). 'Amazing Bread That Won't Go Stale' refused as he is camera shy and a little Sikh (I only managed to sneak a photograph after telling him that wasps were approaching in haste).
posted by Andy @ 12:52 AM
6 Comments:
There is to be no sorcery about Blaine, brother. He is but a weak illusionist with funny irises.
And indeed I beheld the bread but lo was not smote or affronted, rather awed and actually quite happy for it.
Did yonder photographer masticate?
I am afraid to masticate in case it hastens the decaying process.
FINALLY Andy has put words to his blog. I have work to be getting on with sir, I'll only do it if there is not more regular action on the Gair Rhydd pats and ex-pats' blogs.
I really really wish Blaine had died during that daft experiment. Or suffered horrible disease from suspending in his own urine (had I been in London I would have stolen his catheter).
Where did you buy the bread? Mine always goes off.
Did he have a poo bag too? It could have doubled as a hot-water bottle during those cold lonely aquatic nights.
I imagine so, otherwise he really would have filled the tank with his own excrement. In honesty, though, I'm only guessing.
I may remember that idea, though, for those long, cold nights when the postgrad leaves me too poor to boil a kettle.
Much as I hate to break it to people, wefound some mold on the Amazing Bread yesterday. Andy tasted the Amazing Bread and said it was "kinda tangy".
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